I was just given a book of essays by Lee Uh-Ryung, a revered Korean poet, essayist, and scholar who recently converted to Christianity. What led this previously adamant atheist to his conversion? A couple of years ago, his daughter was diagnosed with cancer. After she found out that she did not have much time left, she is said to have gotten down on her knees and thanked God for her life. Witnessing this, Lee Uh-Ryung opened his heart to God, half hoping for his daughter’s miraculous recovery and half awed by his daughter’s faith. God met him too, and he healed his daughter.

In one of his essays, he talks about his favorite walks meandering through the woods. In one of those walks, he thinks about how thankful he is that he is not a carpenter. If he were a carpenter, he would only see the trees as a means to his sustenance, and his thoughts would be consumed by how to cut down this tree and make it into a desk, chair, or a bed. He would not be able to appreciate trees for what they were, in their essence. Lee ties this thought with our innate selfishness. Humans tend to understand things and peoples only in relation to how they fulfill our needs and desires. To be freed of this self-centered understanding is to truly love, or partake in love.

Heidegger similarly touched upon the subject of how we interpret objects around us as  ready-at-hand (an utilitarian existence, how the object will be useful to us) and cannot view them as present-at-hand, which is a disinterested existence. He says that as beings in the world, we are constantly involved in the world and the objects around us. When we interact with objects, we make sub-conscious complex connections between the object and  other objects, ideas, or experiences. However, Heidegger is proposing something quite different from Lee. Lee is stating that it is possible- with love- to escape from this egocentric categorization while Heidegger says it is impossible to (using Lee’s example) love the tree for who/what it is. Abstract philosophy would allow Lee’s theory to be feasible, but mankind’s minds are too rooted in understanding that stems from the self and other numerous utilitarian connections.

I wonder, when God commanded us to love Him with all our hearts, soul, and strength and love our neighbors as we love ourselves, did He mean that like Lee said, we should strip ourselves from our innate egocentric being? To, like Simone Weil, acquire a complete selflessness so that God can take over and direct every thought, words, and actions? However, was Weil truly free from her self? Is this kind of love possible? [I apologize for the constant allusions to philosophers and their thoughts covered in Religion 56 course. Heidegger and Simone Weil are both thinkers worth reading if you have not yet done so. ]

God loves us so much that He gave His only son to die for us on the Cross. He died for us- the trinity is the epitome of selfless love, in which God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are three distinct entities but also a single entity unified through love into a single being. His love is so great and infinite that when we love, we are dwelling in Him. He is calling us to love like the trinity, to adopt His will and heart as ours. I think this love is so great because we understand this love from a ‘self’ perspective, that God Himself came down to earth and died for OUR sins. That before we were individual sinners, and through Christ’s love, we are now His children. There is an aspect of self-sacrifice, the denial of the self, to fulfill the greatest act of love. How can this love be possible without the essential Self? We can imagine how great this love is because when viewed in juxtaposition to our own love, we are very selfish (I am using selfish and egocentric almost synonymously). If God commanded us to do the same, shouldn’t this act of love also be viable in us?

Because we are innately flawed and sinful creatures (the question of whether or not our sin is derived from our self-centered nature is another topic), we cannot love perfectly. We cannot love like God. Yes, we are called to take upon our Cross and follow in His steps, but I think that is the extent of our love, of existing beyond the self. We are to follow, and this is the perfect love allowed to us. Yes, through God, we can be understand and act in perfected love, but how can we on this earth in this mortal period, love perfectly as to completely extract and deny the self? When our hearts desire above all else to be like God in love and act upon our desires, we are perfected. But how can we be perfect in love as long as the desire to be like God is our desire and not God-endowed? Desire, is a self-conscious decision. When we ask God to give us this pure desire, we are making a conscious decision to commit the self to Him. Thus, in order to love perfectly, we must make a conscious decision to commit to this love, and therefore the self is essential to love.

Because love is a sacrifice, we must have something of great value that is to be sacrificed. God calls us to give Him our selves, and dwell in His perfect love.

I wonder, did Peter, Paul, St. Augustine, Mother Theresa, and other people who were intimate with God, attain this love?

I am still not sure as to whether or not I will ever reach a point of love in Christ where I am able to understand this concept better. In the meanwhile, I pray and earnestly desire to love God with all my heart and being and love my neighbors as I (yes, the capital ‘I’) would like to be loved.